Confessions from the Wife of a Circumcised Man, by Rebecca

Because of the Grace of God, my husband and I had saved ourselves for each other prior to

marriage. We felt very strongly that we should not defile the marriage bed by entering into a physical relationship outside of the marriage covenant. It seemed clear to us that God’s plan for marriage includes purity outside of marriage. Because of this, after we were married, the first few months were a huge adjustment to the physical intimacy of marriage. It was a beautiful time in our lives and we loved every moment of getting to know each other more intimately. We had our “issues,” but also quite enjoyed the process of working on them. Thinking back on our “honeymoon” years always makes me smile.

At the time I had no concept of what circumcision was or what it meant to me. I knew little about it and had known no other man but my husband so he was my whole world. As a newlywed, I often talked with friends who were also young-marrieds or newlyweds to learn if any of them had the same “difficulties” that I had as a newlywed. We often found we had some of the same issues and it was helpful to know I wasn’t the only newly-married-wife to experience these things! I was in good company.

And things continually got better as married life wore on. We have truly had a very joyful and happy marriage in every way, despite any bumps in the road along the way! We learned how to communicate and work well together in most areas.

Once we had our first son though, we were forced into researching circumcision so we could decide if we needed to have our son circumcised or not. After I came to the realization of what circumcision is and that it had been done to my husband, things that we went through as newlyweds and things that my friends had gone through as newlyweds all started to make so much more sense. I could look back on specific conversations with other newlywed wives and it all became painfully clear. In retrospect, it all lined up. The issues we discussed down to the nitty gritty details - it all came down to circumcision. I had no idea! It was so eye-opening and painful to realize that our sex life had been so negatively affected by something we didn’t even really ever think about or realize had any role whatsoever. It made me a little bit angry, but mostly sad. Sad for him and also for myself- that we’d never know what sex is like as God intended. I know there is nothing we can do about it and I have accepted that. I am grateful for our marriage (all aspects of it!) in spite of it all!

Because of what we learned, we are so happy to have left our son with all the body parts that God gave him and as strange as it may sound, we are happy that he will be able to experience a fuller sex life, as God and nature intended! Despite the lingering sadness for what my husband and I cannot have back, it makes us even more grateful and relieved to be able to leave our son intact!

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